The Hot Mess of Building/Finding Your Tribe

Hey boos,

I originally planned to release a blog post about successful indie romance writers but…I just changed my mind. That’ll be next month’s topic.

I’m a Leo, I’m very impulsive, and I had some other things on my mind…like finding a tribe.

When I say tribe, I don’t necessarily mean fanbase, it’s more like other romance writers that I can bond with and swap war stories with and cry when my MacBook decides to play dead for a couple of hours which sends me on an anxiety driven mental breakdown even though I know everything will be fine.

That’s what I mean.

I can vividly envision how I want my career to go. I want to work with Shonda Rhimes, Melissa McCarthy, Mindy Kaling, Tina Fey, Seth MacFarlane. I want to have lunch with Alexis Daria, Andie J. Christopher and the team that is Christina Lauren, and not feel like I don’t belong there because I know I do.

My OG Tribe (They’re not writers, just my sisters)

You every want something so bad you can taste it? You can feel it in your bones? That’s how I feel about my writing career. I want to work with and be in the rooms with all these creative, talented people (my list of people I want to work with and eat lunch with is too long to write on this blog).

Just know that my Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime deal is just around the corner. I feel it in my bones.

The thing is, I feel like this whole writing thing would be easier if I had people to talk to. I just want a tribe so we can all feel supported. It’s hard to throw yourself into the massive world of social media and sometimes not get a reaction or a reply from anyone and sometimes wonder if people really give two shits about my writing.

I know my writing is good.

But. I think it would go easier if I had colleagues to vent to and brain pick.

Sometimes I’ll DM some authors but get no reply and I think it’s because most writers are introverts. They keep to themselves and don’t know to respond or overthink a response and end up not responding.

So this list of helpful tips will be different. These are tips for you to use but I’ll be trying them out with you guys. I want to find a tribe, and I want to build a community. That was the point of all my blogs and flash fiction. Believe it or not, I started flash fiction to engage with an audience. It was intended for other writers to add to it or give feedback. But…I don’t know if people just read it and forget about it.

I know people read my work, Analytics tells me so. And lately that number has been on the rise. But, I need more!

You know what? Scratch that. There will be no helpful tips (remember I’m an impulsive Leo). I want to share some commitments that I’m making as a writer.

1. I commit to providing constructive feedback to those of you who ask. And for those of you who don’t, I will still comment on your work, and posts and tell you how amazing it is.

2. I commit to buying more books from indie authors. I think this is a big one. I want to read more Indie Romance books that are funny, quirky, with diverse characters. I want to read historical romance from self-published authors. I want to support! I think to find a tribe, we should start with getting to know each others works. My biggest thing as a writer is to read as much in my genre as I can, but I usually find myself leaning towards commercially successful writers. Please don’t be afraid to send me and others great recommendations.

3. I commit to sharing knowledge. What you want to know? If I know the answer, I’ll share it. I do not gate keep. There is space for all of us to grow, learn, be successful and thrive.

4. I commit to sharing my success with you and celebrating yours. You got a cover reveal coming up? Send me a pic and I’ll share it. You got an agent? I’ll share the great news. You got an appearance coming up? I’ll blast it on my page, even if I live clear across the country, and applaud your moment.

5. I will also share my failures and set backs. Most of the socials only show the good, I promise to share when things aren’t so hot. Or when I’m so stressed at the day job, that I write the shittiest piece of work and cry because I’m doubting myself. Share your downs with me and I’ll lend an ear, shoulder…I’ll cry with you too.

6. I commit to being open to new friends, acquaintances, experiences and writing opportunities.

7. I commit to setting healthy boundaries within this community to maintain my mental health.

Ok. Those are my commitments.

If there are some that you would like to add, If there’s feedback, If there is something you want to get off your chest or you just need advice…let me know!

Enjoy your month!

Love Always,

J.L.