Vampy

“Was it good for you as it was for me?” I asked as I wiped the blood that drizzled down my chin.

“I’m a little dizzy,” he answered. “You were really hungry, huh?”

I handed him a handkerchief and walked around the room, trying to seem indifferent as I  peeked at his pictures and randomness that was all over his tiny office.

“So, how much do I owe you?” I picked up a crystal award that read world’s best dad. He was dad? I felt the same guilt from when I was alive. I placed the crystal tchotchke back to its place. I mean I kinda believed it; a sane person wouldn’t answer a vampires craigslist ad and let said vampire suck from them unless they were desperate for money. We’re living in a world where my kind only exist in fairytales or horror stories; it wasn’t like True Blood where we walked among the living.

In vampire years, I was still a newborn. I had a real bad case of withdrawals and no real understanding in how to get what I needed. It’s not like I was going to attack an innocent person. That’s not my vibe and I couldn’t risk the bad juju.

“Can you put those things away?” He nodded at me; his fear was evident. I wanted to oblige him seeing that this was probably his rock bottom. But, truth was I didn’t really know how this all worked. It’s not like I got an instruction manual once I got bitten…although, that would’ve been nice.

“What these old things? You just gotta give it a minute.” To distract him from my slow retracting fangs, I dug into my pocket and handed him a wad of cash.  “Is this enough?” I asked.

He eyes grew twice their size as he spotted the money. “Where did you get that?”

“A woman doesn’t kiss and tell,” I answered coyly.

“But you’re not alive.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m not a woman.”

He shrugged. “Whatever.”

He was really killing my buzz. “You know, for a man who met his fortune, I’d say you got the biggest stick up your ass.”

He checked himself out on a mirror, lightly touching his neck where I bit; two puncture marks. “What do I tell people?”

“Nothing. Do they really have to know you answered a vampires Craigslist ad? It’s a sure-fire way to not make friends...or get sent to Bellevue.” When he continued to just stare at mark, I shrugged. “Just tell them you got mosquito bites. It’s not like they’ll believe you, Daniel.”

His eyes flew up searching for mine in the mirror. When he couldn’t find them, he turned. “How do you know my name?”

I rolled my eyes. “Relax, Danny boy, your name is scrawled on your desk.” When I didn’t see him relax, I tried to reassure him. “I’m not going to stalk you; I’m not going to be a problem...I’m not that kind of girl.”

I saw the muscle in his jaw twitch. “No, you’re just the vampire that feasts on any stranger.”

I felt my veins begin to boil. I flashed my fangs just to make a point. “You are very loose with your words...do you know I can break you in half so fast that you’d still be conscious for a couple seconds before dying?” I’d be lying if I said I didn’t revel in the way his skin went from tan to ghost white. I slowly walked over to him. “Relax, Danny Boy, my bark is worse than by bite.” I winked at him and opened the window.

My heart began to race. Signs of dawn began to rise over and I panicked. “Oh shit.”

“What’s wrong?”

“The sun is coming.”

“What should I do?”

“First you need to get another job because working until morning...it ain’t it, boo.” When he continued to stare blankly at me, I sighed. “Can I crash here?”

“What happens when the sun comes up? Do you burn?” There was a little bounce in his voice that I didn’t quite appreciate.

I gave a humorless laugh. “You would think that but, no.” He folded his arms and waited for my answer. I looked out the window in a panic. “Please,” I squeaked.

It was like the sun was rising faster than normal. “What happens?”

“What happens is you’ll have a sleeping vampire in your office. And I don’t think the boss will like that so much.”

“A narcoleptic vampire?”

“I’m not the type that glitters in the sun! I don’t know why but the second the sun hits my skin, I’m out for the count and I won’t wake up until the sun goes down.”

He sighed. “Get in the closet.” He groaned.

I was so excited I could die...again.

I ran into the closet and made myself comfortable on the piles of shoes and bags. “You need to tidy up a bit. Women don’t like a messy man.”

“I’m only doing this because you gave me money.”

“That’s what she said.” I winked at him.

“I don’t want to see you after this.”

I yawned. “Don’t worry about it...there’s a fifty-fifty chance you won’t.” I felt the sun on my pale skin. “Good ni...”